am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
