Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
