This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
