We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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