Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
