Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
