Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
