i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
