Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize