operation harelip BJ is a go
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
