let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
