God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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