Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
