Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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