He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
