I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
