Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
