birth control should be required to get into college
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize