she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
this boner is exhausting
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I am available for nakedness
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
