Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
