This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize