i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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