I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
