He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
