big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize