If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
