You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
