well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
