Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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