her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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