i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
