My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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