I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
