Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize