I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
my shit smells like andre
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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