No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
