I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
