Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
