he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
