Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize