perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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