Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
