I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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