Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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