What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Too much gin, very little bucket
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
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