No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
