from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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