She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
