I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm really busy with my period
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