she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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