She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
