It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
