i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Alive.
So much puke
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
