I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
