do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
