I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
