when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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