I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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