using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
a search helicopter?!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
