I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
