my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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