Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize