i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
