So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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