come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
