Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
what day is it and did you see me today?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
