Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
